GEORGETOWN, Texas (3 November 2010) — Our roving investigative reporter has sent us definitive proof that squirrels and knitting don’t mix. The squirrel pictured above, who asked that her name be withheld, was caught in the broad daylight of Wednesday afternoon trying to remove a knitted cozy from a park bench here at Southwestern University. The bench cozy, along with other knitted graffiti, had been mounted on campus last month by students in the first-year seminar on knitting.
“Look, it’s getting cold here in central Texas,” said the squirrel. “Plus, I needed something to comfort me now that Rick Perry has been elected to a third term as governor. It’s hard out there right now.”